The field of sex therapy is one that demands extensive education, training, and experience. As more people seek help for concerns related to sexual health and relationships, there has been a rise in individuals claiming to be “sex therapists” without the proper qualifications or credentials. This is a deeply concerning trend because sex therapy, when done improperly, can actually do more harm than good.
So, what is sex therapy? How do you tell if you’re working with a qualified sex therapist? And why does training matter so much? Let’s dive in.
What Is a Sex Therapist?
A sex therapist is a mental health professional who has specialized training in sexual health, relationships, and intimacy. Their role is to help individuals and couples navigate sexual concerns, ranging from issues like low sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, and painful sex, to sexual trauma, infidelity, and exploring non-traditional relationship structures like polyamory.
A qualified sex therapist first needs a background in mental health—typically as a psychologist, psychotherapist, social worker, or psychiatrist. From there, they pursue additional, specialized training in sexual health. This advanced training includes coursework in human sexuality, sexual dysfunctions, relationship dynamics, and the psychology of sexual health. They also complete supervised clinical experience, ensuring they can treat sexual concerns with evidence-based strategies rather than personal opinions or biases. A high quality sex therapist will also be a member of professional sexual health organizations, such as SSTAR (the Society for Sex Therapy and Research), ISSWSH (International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health), IASR (International Academy of Sex Research), or others.
In short: a sex therapist isn’t just someone who’s comfortable talking about sex. They’re someone who is specifically trained to address complex and sensitive issues with evidence-based strategies and interventions.
Why Does Proper Training Matter in Sex Therapy?
Sexual health is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized areas of health care. Without proper training, unqualified providers can inadvertently cause harm, perpetuate myths, or leave clients feeling more confused, ashamed, or isolated than when they started. Here are a few examples of how unqualified sex therapy can go wrong:
1. Perpetuating Shame
Untrained providers may bring their own biases into therapy, whether they realize it or not. These biases can lead to judgmental comments or assumptions that increase a client’s feelings of shame or inadequacy. For example, a therapist without proper training might imply that low sexual desire means the relationship is doomed, further alienating the client from their partner.
A high quality sex therapist, on the other hand, understands that sexual desire is complex and often responsive rather than spontaneous. This means that desire isn’t always about attraction or love—it’s influenced by context, emotional intimacy, and feeling safe in a relationship. A trained sex therapist can help clients uncover the real reasons behind low desire and develop strategies to rekindle intimacy without shame or blame.
2. Spreading Misinformation
Sexual health is rife with myths and outdated beliefs. An untrained therapist might unknowingly spread misinformation, such as suggesting that certain sexual issues are purely psychological when, in fact, they might have a physical or hormonal cause (e.g., painful sex due to menopause or erectile difficulties due to cardiovascular health).
High quality sex therapists are trained to recognize when a concern might have a physiological component and will collaborate with medical professionals, such as urologists, gynaecologists, or pelvic floor physiotherapists, to ensure clients receive comprehensive care.
3. Misinterpreting the Problem
Untrained therapists often lack the nuanced understanding of human sexuality needed to interpret what’s really happening. For instance, a therapist might see infidelity as purely a moral failing or a sign of a bad relationship, when in reality, there are always good underlying reasons that lead to infidelity such as attachment wounds, unresolved trauma, uncontrolled issues with impulsivity, or sexual dissatisfaction that need to be addressed.
Sexual problems are rarely black and white. A well-trained sex therapist takes a bio-psycho-social approach—looking at biological, psychological, and social factors—to fully understand the issue and create an effective treatment plan.
4. Giving Harmful Advice
One of the biggest risks of working with an unqualified sex therapist is receiving advice that actively makes the situation worse. For example, a therapist might suggest that a client “just needs to try harder” to enjoy sex or might encourage a couple to leave the relationship if one partner experiences low sexual desire. This kind of oversimplified, one-size-fits-all advice can be devastating to a person’s self-esteem and to their relationship.
In contrast, high quality sex therapists use evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and mindfulness-based sex therapy (MBST) techniques to help clients achieve real, lasting results.
How to Tell If You’re Working With a Qualified Sex Therapist
If you’re looking for a sex therapist, it’s essential to vet their credentials and ensure they’re properly trained. Since there’s no single licensing board that governs sex therapy in Ontario, the quality of training and experience varies widely. Some therapists are highly trained specialists, while others may list sex therapy as just one of many areas they treat—without any real expertise.
To make sure you’re getting high-quality, evidence-based care, here’s what to ask or research before booking an appointment:
1. What is their background in mental health?
A qualified sex therapist should have a strong foundation in mental health. They should hold a degree in psychology, social work, psychotherapy, or a related field, with additional, specialized training in sexual health. They should be a member of a regulated health care college.
2. Where did they train?
Sex therapy is a specialty, and training matters. Look for professionals who have studied at recognized institutions or have completed high-level training programs in sex therapy. Some reputable universities with faculty specializing in sex therapy include (but are not limited to):
- Queen’s University
- University of British Columbia
- Dalhousie University
- McGill University
3. Are they certified by a recognized organization or trained by industry experts?
Some of the most respected sex therapy credentials come from:
- AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)
- BESTCO (Board of Examiners in Sex Therapy and Counselling in Ontario)
If they’re not officially certified, ask who supervised their training. Did they learn from a recognized sex therapist or researcher? Have they worked alongside clinicians who specialize in sexual health research and evidence-based practice? I should note here, that the clinicians in my clinic are not members of these organizations.
4. Do they specialize in sex therapy—or is it just one of many services they offer?
Be cautious if a therapist lists sex therapy as one of many areas they treat. True specialists dedicate significant time and training to this field, rather than just adding it to their practice as an afterthought.
5. What methods do they use?
Ask about their approach to treatment. A high-quality sex therapist relies on evidence-based practices, rather than personal opinions, anecdotal advice, or outdated beliefs about sex.
A well-trained sex therapist will be able to address a wide range of concerns, from low libido and erectile dysfunction to sexual trauma and non-traditional relationships—always with a research-backed, nonjudgmental approach.
At The Tri Health Clinic, our therapists are leaders in the field of sex therapy, trained in the most up-to-date research and evidence-based interventions.
Who Is the Best Sex Therapist in Kingston?
Okay, let’s be real: there’s no such thing as “the best” therapist for everyone. Therapy is about finding the right fit for your unique needs and personality. That said, The Tri Health Clinic is home to some of the most highly trained sex therapists in Kingston and across Ontario. Our team specializes in addressing sexual health concerns with compassion, expertise, and a commitment to evidence-based care.
What Happens When You Go to an Unqualified Sex Therapist?
If you’re still not convinced, let’s recap some of the risks of working with an untrained provider:
- Increased shame: They might unknowingly make you feel judged or broken.
- Poor education: They could perpetuate myths or provide inaccurate information.
- Missed medical issues: They might fail to recognize when your concerns have a physiological cause.
- Harmful advice: Their recommendations could damage your self-esteem or relationships.
Your sexual health is too important to leave to chance. Whether you’re seeking help for low desire, painful sex, erectile dysfunction, or navigating non-traditional relationships, you deserve a therapist who knows what they’re doing.
At The Tri Health Clinic, We Take Sex Therapy Seriously
Sex therapy is a specialty, not a side hustle. At The Tri Health Clinic, we provide rigorous training to our clinicians to ensure they offer the highest standard of care. Our therapists are experts in evidence-based approaches and are equipped to handle everything from performance anxiety to infidelity recovery.
If you’re a clinician interested in advancing your skills in sex therapy, we also offer high-quality supervision and in-house training to help you become a true expert in this field.
Choose Your Sex Therapist Wisely
Sexual health is deeply personal, and getting help should feel empowering, not risky. If you’re looking for sex therapy, do your homework. Look for someone with the right credentials, training, and experience to support you in achieving the outcomes you deserve. And if you’re ready to get started, The Tri Health Clinic is here to help.